Contrant

So the community is all atwitter at Konami's latest attempt to haul the rotting husk of Contra franchise out of perdition and make it somewhat relevant Apparently we've blocked from memory the decade of industrial-grade dreck the franchise has given us ever since Treasure split away from Konami. But hey, maybe I'm being a cynic. After all, who's to say WayForward Technologies isn't fit for Treasure's mantle? What could be so hard about three way guns and riding atop flying missiles and blowing up giant pulsating alien zombie wasp queens? After all, WayForward, they're the guys who--

Oh lord.

Well you know, maybe that was a fluke, everyone has their bad games, I mean even Treasure put out Wario World--

Monsters! They're monsters! For the love of all that's holy, someone call Konami and tell them-

Well, that's not so bad.I mean sure, it was ages ago, and for the Gameboy Color of all things, but was one of the highlights of the system and is something of a cult favorite. If they can revive some of that magic--

Nope, they suck.

I could understand any level of enthusiasm about the return of Contra if there was anything worthwhile to come of the series once Treasure left. But since the heyday of the SNES, Contra has ranged at best from merely mediocre (Shattered Soldier) to insultingly bad (everything else). That's it. They couldn't even manage to keep the Live Arcade port of the original Arcade game from sucking. At least Konami figured out something to do with Castlevania, even if it was to remake Symphony of the Night every other year.

The best thing that could happen to Contra right now would be for Konami to hand SNK a moneyhat, a DVD full of Super Contra sprites and instructions to use them the next time they want to make a Metal Slug game. I doubt that handing over the reigns to the company responsible for Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses is going to help matters.